Remember, you're just trying to get to know them, so you can save all those heavy hitters for another time (maybe). Depending on the person, for example, it might feel safer to avoid questions about political and religious beliefs.

Still, you want to be mindful of your approach and choose questions that don't feel critical or like an invasion of privacy, says Williams. 'When initially meeting someone, it's important to be inviting and warm so that the other person can initially feel comfortable talking with you.' 'Sharing personal information strengthens any relationship, and deeper questions focus on that personal self-disclosure.'Īnd that goes for both parties, adds Williams. 'Topics that get at the other person's inner world-their thoughts, goals, and dreams-will strengthen and increase bonding between two people,' Orbuch notes. This can include questions about their family, career, et cetera.Īdditionally, you want to avoid any 'yes' or 'no' questions and aim for the open-ended ones instead, says Tamekis Williams, LCSW, the founder of Mission Dorothy Female Empowerment Services. Starting with 'breadth questions' is a great way to take any convo from awkward small talk to comfortable real talk, according to Terri Orbuch, PhD, a relationship expert, therapist, and author of 5 Simple Steps to Take Your Marriage from Good to Great. (Think: Your very hard-to-impress mother-in-law.) Luckily, there are a few expert-approved tricks that'll help you get on your conversation A-game. And sometimes, those interactions are unavoidable. Then, of course, there's the flip side of that-where as much as you want to warm up to someone and vice versa, every chat with them feels terribly stiff. You know the feeling: The conversation just flows, everything feels easy, and before you know it, hours have passed by. Meeting someone new that you're able to click with easily is so refreshing.

How to play 21 questions